Creepy Magazine Columns!
by LearnAndLive
Summary: Kim is bored at home, all alone. So, she picks a magazine off her sister's floor and comes across a certain column that seems to describe her and Jack's relationship remarkably well. The problem? It's titled "A Boyfriend's Guide to His Girlfriend"! One-Shot. Please read & review!
1. Chapter 1

**This is a simple one-shot where Kim sees a column in a magazine and realizes how Jack fits the criteria. I got this "column" on "The New Era Of Cute"-'s profile. Check her out! Please REVIEW!**

Bored out of my mind, I resorted to reading one of my sister's magazines. Why is this a punishment? The title is "A Girl's Guide to Guys". Who read this crap? Before succumbing to that level, I checked my phone again for possible people to hang out with. Eddie? On vacation. Grace? Hanging out with her boyfriend, Jerry. I shudder momentarily before scrolling down the alphabetized list. Jack? Out to eat with his parents. Jerry? With Grace. Poor girl, what's wrong with her? Julie? On a date with Milton. Kelsey? Babysitting. Milton? On a date with Julie. Rudy? Cleaning the dojo. I guess I could help him…nah.

Flipping to a section in the middle, the glossy pages read:

**A BOYFRIEND'S Guide to YOU:**

**When she walks away from you mad,  
follow her.**

That's kinda like what Jack does with me. No matter how much I just walk away, he keeps coming back, like he knows when I need someone to talk to, instead of being given some space like everyone else assumes.

**When she stares at your mouth,  
kiss her.**

Pssh, we've never done that. I can only dream- I mean…yeah. I can only dream about kissing Jack. (*dramatic sigh*) He would defiantly make a great boyfriend though; let's see what other points he follows…

**When she pushes you or hits you,  
grab her and don't let go.**

…okay. This is starting to get creepy. But it's true. When we're not sparring, and I just smack him out of exasperation, he never lets go. He holds me, and calms me down until I forget what I was even mad about in the first place. He's such a perfect best friend.

**When she starts yelling at you,  
kiss her and tell her you love her.**

Whenever I yell at Jack, it's usually over something stupid, so reassurance isn't necessary. But, when things get heated, he always tells me the same thing, and every time I hear it, it sounds brand new. The last time we had a big fight, I was walking away from him, tears threatening to fall, when he said that magic sentence. "Fine, leave! But no matter what, we will _always_ be best friends!" And then I ran back, hugging him and apologizing, him doing the same to me.

**When she ignores you,  
give her your attention.**

Whenever I ignore Jack, I see more of him then when I'm actually on good terms with him. He won't let me forget how close we are, and a dumb argument isn't going to change that fact.

**When she pulls away,  
pull her back.**

This isn't literal for Jack and I. Whenever we start fading, spending less time together, he calls me and tells me this straight out. "We need to hangout, NOW!" He doesn't take no for an answer, he always afraid we might fade, but the first time was enough warning for both of us. Now, we're called "attached at the hip" constantly, and I can't remember the last day I haven't seen him.

**When you see her at her worst,  
tell her she's beautiful.**

I complain about my appearance first thing in the morning. So whether he came in my room during the middle of the night and waited for me to wake up (True Story!), or I just got up when he was sleeping over, he always tells me I don't need makeup. Those are the only days I go without it, because Jack always wins those arguments by saying "What's wrong with looking like you?" I never have a counterargument.

**When you see her walking,  
sneak up and hug her waist from behind.**

If I had a penny for every time he did that, I swear on my life, I'd be rich. That's just how we are. We have a touch-y relationship. No, not in a perverted way! Simple things like hugs, hands on shoulders, grabbing their arm, etc.

**When she's scared,  
protect her.**

He's "protected" me from jerks, posers, bees, idiots, old men wearing cowboy hats and overalls…need I go on?

**When she steals your favorite hat,  
let her keep it and sleep with it for a night.**

I kept half my stuff in Jack's room, and vice versa. We both have drawers in each other's room, filled with junk we were too lazily to bring home. Or, since we practically live at each other's homes, whatever we forget most for sleepovers or going in the pool, stuff like that.

**When she teases you,  
tease her back and make her laugh.**

Jack and his hero complex, that's the easiest. We have little wars about the flaws we've picked up on each other. He loves to use my stubbornness, which I am _not,_ and how I'm a horrible liar, which is kind of true.

**When you miss her, tell her.**

Well, I don't have anything for this**-**oh! Hang on, Jack's calling.

"Hey, I thought you were having dinner with Angie and Rick?" Yeah, we call each other's parents by their first names. I doubt they even care anymore.

"Yeah, I am, but it's boring here without you! I miss you!"


	2. Dreams and Reciting

**My heart swelled with happiness when I saw **_**14**_** reviews for a one-shot! Thanks so much! I don't think you understand how happy that makes me! So, the only way to pay you back in not a long, drone-y author's note…it's a chapter! This starts right after Jack told Kim he missed her. And…action!**

"Y-you miss…me?" Uh, oh.

"Well, yeah! Kim, is something wrong?"

His voice was crackly through the phone, but I could still tell it was sincere. I held the magazine in amazement. "No! So, what's going on there?" I stalled, trying to keep him busy. My sister keeps every magazine she's ever gotten, so I quickly shoved the phone between my ear and shoulder while I flipped to the front, scanning for the date it was printed. I tried to keep offering conversation, but he would have to stop every once in a while and ask if I could hear him. After I replied a yes, he'd continue with his story. Finally! The copyright is… "Hey, Jack? This might sound weird, but what day did you come to Seaford again?"

"Oh. Uh, September sixteenth, twenty-eleven."

_Copyright: 9/16/11_.

I'm flipping out. It had to be a coincidence, but still, how freaky is that! "Kim? Are you okay? You haven't said anything in the-"

"I think I like you."

My head might've popped at that very second, but my heart rate just sped instead.

"By like, you mean…"

"_Like-like,_ Jack."

"Phew!"

"Wh-Huh?"

"I was going to tell you tomorrow!"

"You-"

"I like-like you back."

"Rea-"

"Yes!"

"Are you sure-"

"Yes! Kimberly Ann Crawford, will you be my girlfriend?"

"YES!"

_BRRRRING!_

"AAAAAGH!" I woke up from my dream when my phone rang. Jack. _Jack!_ "H-hey."

"Kim! What the heck! I said I missed you and you hung up!"

Oh my God. It was a dream. Before I responded, I flipped to the copyright: June third, two-thousand and seven. Oh my God. "Oh…sorry. Bad connection." I tried to get my breathing under control as he responded.

"Well, as long as you're okay. I have to go, but I'll come by later, alright?"

I nodded my head, face-palmed, and then replied "Sure…I, uh, have something I want you to see,"

"Okay, see you in, like, a half hour,"

After the formalities were concluded, I raced up to my room, cut out the article and threw the rest of the book back into the room next to mine. I went back to my desk and grabbed some paper. On it, I wrote down how Jack fits into the criteria the magazine posed and gave examples. I put more effort into that then my schoolwork! Once I finished, I had five minutes left before Jack said he'd be over. So, I laid back on my bed and did some thinking. Do I really want to tell Jack how I feel? Am I putting out beautiful friendship at risk? But, the more I thought, the more I was convinced. So, when Jack climbed through my window, I walked calmly over to him, not saying a word.

"Kim? What-"

"If I told you right now that I hated your guts, never wanted to speak to you again, and smacked you, what would you do?"

Without missing a beat, he replied staring directly into my eyes "I'd say no matter what, we'll _always_ be best friends. And when you'd hit me, I'd grab your arm and hold you until you felt better."

"Jack Anderson…I think I like-like you,"

He was silent, not moving a muscle, not batting an eyelid. And that's when I knew I made a mistake.

"I'm so, _so_ sorry. C-can we still be friends?"

Still, nothing. Suddenly, out of the blue, he screamed and pretended to jump at me. Thinking he was going to hurt me, I cowered in fear behind my arms. Then, he grabbed me in a hug and kissed me completely on the lips. When he pulled away, he rested his head on top of mine and said quietly "A boyfriend's guide to you. Rule number nine: When she's scared, protect her."

**Ta-da! That's it for this! It was fun to write, because it was in Kim's point of view, so I had to make it sound like her talking, so it was a bit of a challenge, because I prefer a larger vocabulary. Anywho, unless I get an extremely good idea from someone else (PM me or put it in a review-You **_**will**_** be given credit if I do use it), this will stay a two-shot. REVIEW ANYWAY!**


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